Tides prediction program

http://www.wxtide32.com/

Driving in india

http://www.lovethatfun.com/Driving_in_India/30

Klingon programmers

The top 12 things likely to be overheard if you had Klingon programmers working for you:

12. Specifications are for the weak and timid!

11. This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium processors if I am to do battle with this code.

10. You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon.

9. Indentation?! I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!

8. What is this talk of 'release'? Klingons do not make software 'releases'. Our software escapes, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!

7. Klingon function calls do not have "parameters" - they have "arguments" - and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.

6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.

5. I have challenged the entire Quality Assurance team to a Bat-Leh contest! They will not concern us again.

4. A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code.

3. By filing this bug report you have challenged the honor of my family. Prepare to die!

2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!

1. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Stiati ca in Elvetia...

Exista 1784 telecabine, 124 telegondole, 314 telescaune si 1072 teleschiuri.

Evolution of programmer from High School to CEO

High School/Jr.High
       10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
       20 END

First year in College
       program Hello(input, output)
         begin
           writeln('Hello World')
         end.

Senior year in College
       (defun hello
         (print
           (cons 'Hello (list 'World))))

New professional
       #include <stdio.h>
       void main(void)
       {
         char *message[] = {"Hello ", "World"};
         int i;

         for(i = 0; i < 2; ++i)
           printf("%s", message[i]);
         printf("\n");
       }

Seasoned professional
       #include <iostream.h>
       #include <string.h>

       class string
       {
       private:
         int size;
         char *ptr;

       public:
         string() : size(0), ptr(new char('\0')) {}

         string(const string &s) : size(s.size)
         {
           ptr = new char[size + 1];
           strcpy(ptr, s.ptr);
         }

         ~string()
         {
           delete [] ptr;
         }

         friend ostream &operator <<(ostream &, const string &);
         string &operator=(const char *);
       };

       ostream &operator<<(ostream &stream, const string &s)
       {
         return(stream << s.ptr);
       }

       string &string::operator=(const char *chrs)
       {
         if (this != &chrs)
         {
           delete [] ptr;
          size = strlen(chrs);
           ptr = new char[size + 1];
           strcpy(ptr, chrs);
         }
         return(*this);
       }

       int main()
       {
         string str;

         str = "Hello World";
         cout << str << endl;

         return(0);
       }

Master Programmer
       [
       uuid(2573F8F4-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
       ]
       library LHello
       {
           // bring in the master library
           importlib("actimp.tlb");
           importlib("actexp.tlb");

           // bring in my interfaces
           #include "pshlo.idl"

           [
           uuid(2573F8F5-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
           ]
           cotype THello
        {
        interface IHello;
        interface IPersistFile;
        };
       };

       [
       exe,
       uuid(2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820)
       ]
       module CHelloLib
       {

           // some code related header files
           importheader(<windows.h>);
           importheader(<ole2.h>);
           importheader(<except.hxx>);
           importheader("pshlo.h");
           importheader("shlo.hxx");
           importheader("mycls.hxx");

           // needed typelibs
           importlib("actimp.tlb");
           importlib("actexp.tlb");
           importlib("thlo.tlb");

           [
           uuid(2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F -00AA00342820),
           aggregatable
           ]
           coclass CHello
        {
        cotype THello;
        };
       };

       #include "ipfix.hxx"

       extern HANDLE hEvent;

       class CHello : public CHelloBase
       {
       public:
           IPFIX(CLSID_CHello);

           CHello(IUnknown *pUnk);
           ~CHello();

           HRESULT  __stdcall PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString);

       private:
           static int cObjRef;
       };

       #include <windows.h>
       #include <ole2.h>
       #include <stdio.h>
       #include <stdlib.h>
       #include "thlo.h"
       #include "pshlo.h"
       #include "shlo.hxx"
       #include "mycls.hxx"

       int CHello::cObjRef = 0;

       CHello::CHello(IUnknown *pUnk) : CHelloBase(pUnk)
       {
           cObjRef++;
           return;
       }

       HRESULT  __stdcall  CHello::PrintSz(LPWSTR pwszString)
       {
           printf("%ws\n", pwszString);
           return(ResultFromScode(S_OK));
       }

       CHello::~CHello(void)
       {

       // when the object count goes to zero, stop the server
       cObjRef--;
       if( cObjRef == 0 )
           PulseEvent(hEvent);

       return;
       }

       #include <windows.h>
       #include <ole2.h>
       #include "pshlo.h"
       #include "shlo.hxx"
       #include "mycls.hxx"

       HANDLE hEvent;

        int _cdecl main(
       int argc,
       char * argv[]
       ) {
       ULONG ulRef;
       DWORD dwRegistration;
       CHelloCF *pCF = new CHelloCF();

       hEvent = CreateEvent(NULL, FALSE, FALSE, NULL);

       // Initialize the OLE libraries
       CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

       CoRegisterClassObject(CLSID_CHello, pCF, CLSCTX_LOCAL_SERVER,
           REGCLS_MULTIPLEUSE, &dwRegistration);

       // wait on an event to stop
       WaitForSingleObject(hEvent, INFINITE);

       // revoke and release the class object
       CoRevokeClassObject(dwRegistration);
       ulRef = pCF->Release();

       // Tell OLE we are going away.
       CoUninitialize();

       return(0);
       }

       extern CLSID CLSID_CHello;
       extern UUID LIBID_CHelloLib;

       CLSID CLSID_CHello = { /* 2573F891-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
           0x2573F891,
           0xCFEE,
           0x101A,
           { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
       };

       UUID LIBID_CHelloLib = { /* 2573F890-CFEE-101A-9A9F-00AA00342820 */
           0x2573F890,
           0xCFEE,
           0x101A,
           { 0x9A, 0x9F, 0x00, 0xAA, 0x00, 0x34, 0x28, 0x20 }
       };

       #include <windows.h>
       #include <ole2.h>
       #include <stdlib.h>
       #include <string.h>
       #include <stdio.h>
       #include "pshlo.h"
       #include "shlo.hxx"
       #include "clsid.h"

       int _cdecl main(
       int argc,
       char * argv[]
       ) {
       HRESULT  hRslt;
       IHello        *pHello;
       ULONG  ulCnt;
       IMoniker * pmk;
       WCHAR  wcsT[_MAX_PATH];
       WCHAR  wcsPath[2 * _MAX_PATH];

       // get object path
       wcsPath[0] = '\0';
       wcsT[0] = '\0';
       if( argc > 1) {
           mbstowcs(wcsPath, argv[1], strlen(argv[1]) + 1);
           wcsupr(wcsPath);
           }
       else {
           fprintf(stderr, "Object path must be specified\n");
           return(1);
           }

       // get print string
if(argc > 2)
           mbstowcs(wcsT, argv[2], strlen(argv[2]) + 1);
       else
           wcscpy(wcsT, L"Hello World");

       printf("Linking to object %ws\n", wcsPath);
       printf("Text String %ws\n", wcsT);

       // Initialize the OLE libraries
       hRslt = CoInitializeEx(NULL, COINIT_MULTITHREADED);

       if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

           hRslt = CreateFileMoniker(wcsPath, &pmk);
           if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt))
        hRslt = BindMoniker(pmk, 0, IID_IHello, (void **)&pHello);

           if(SUCCEEDED(hRslt)) {

        // print a string out
        pHello->PrintSz(wcsT);

        Sleep(2000);
        ulCnt = pHello->Release();
        }
           else
        printf("Failure to connect, status: %lx", hRslt);

           // Tell OLE we are going away.
           CoUninitialize();
           }

       return(0);
       }

Apprentice Hacker
       #!/usr/local/bin/perl
       $msg="Hello, world.\n";
       if ($#ARGV >= 0) {
         while(defined($arg=shift(@ARGV))) {
           $outfilename = $arg;
           open(FILE, ">" . $outfilename) || die "Can't write $arg: $!\n";
           print (FILE $msg);
           close(FILE) || die "Can't close $arg: $!\n";
         }
       } else {
         print ($msg);
       }
       1;

Experienced Hacker
       #include <stdio.h>
       #define S "Hello, World\n"
       main(){exit(printf(S) == strlen(S) ? 0 : 1);}

Seasoned Hacker
       % cc -o a.out ~/src/misc/hw/hw.c
       % a.out

Guru Hacker
       % cat
       Hello, world.
       ~D

New Manager
       10 PRINT "HELLO WORLD"
       20 END

Middle Manager
       mail -s "Hello, world." bob@b12
       Bob, could you please write me a program that prints "Hello,
world."?
       I need it by tomorrow.
       ~D

Senior Manager
       % zmail jim
       I need a "Hello, world." program by this afternoon.

Chief Executive
       % letter
       letter: Command not found.
       % mail
       To: ~X ~F ~C
       % help mail
       help: Command not found.
       % damn!
       !: Event unrecognized
       % logout

Oldies but goldies

http://www.angelfire.com/ca7/the386experience/downloads.html

Quote

Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly

Cugetarea zilei....despre fotografie

I have discovered photography. Now I can kill myself. I have nothing else to learn.
-- Pablo Picasso

Worlds worst hacker

quote:


* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> why do you kick me
<bitchchecker> can't you discus normally
<bitchchecker> answer!
<Elch> we didn't kick you
<Elch> you had a ping timeout: * bitchchecker (~java@euirc-a97f9137.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)
<bitchchecker> what ping man
<bitchchecker> the timing of my pc is right
<bitchchecker> i even have dst
<bitchchecker> you banned me
<bitchchecker> amit it you son of a bitch
<HopperHunter|afk> LOL
<HopperHunter|afk> shit you're stupid, DST^^
<bitchchecker> shut your mouth WE HAVE DST!
<bitchchecker> for two weaks already
<bitchchecker> when you start your pc there is a message from windows that DST is applied.
<Elch> You're a real computer expert
<bitchchecker> shut up i hack you
<Elch> ok, i'm quiet, hope you don't show us how good a hacker you are ^^
<bitchchecker> tell me your network number man then you're dead
<Elch> Eh, it's 129.0.0.1
<Elch> or maybe 127.0.0.1
<Elch> yes exactly that's it: 127.0.0.1 I'm waiting for you great attack
<bitchchecker> in five minutes your hard drive is deleted
<Elch> Now I'm frightened
<bitchchecker> shut up you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> i have a program where i enter your ip and you're dead
<bitchchecker> say goodbye
<Elch> to whom?
<bitchchecker> to you man
<bitchchecker> buy buy
<Elch> I'm shivering thinking about such great Hack0rs like you
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-61a2169c.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

What happened is clear: That guy entered his own IP-Adress in his mighty Hack-Tool and crashed his own PC. This way, the attack on my PC was a failure. I was already starting to think that I did not have to worry, but a good hacker never calls it a day. Two minutes later he returned.

quote:


* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> dude be happy my pc crashed otherwise you'd be gone
<Metanot> lol
<Elch> bitchchecker: Then try hacking me again... I still have the same IP: 127.0.0.1
<bitchchecker> you're so stupid man
<bitchchecker> say buy buy
<Metanot> ah, [Please control your cussing] off
<bitchchecker> buy buy elch
* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-b5cd558e.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

There was a tension in the room... Would he manage, after these two failures, to crash my PC? I waited. Nothing happened. I felt relieve... Six minutes passed by until he prepared the next wave of attack. Being a Hacker, who usually cracks whole data centers, he knew what his problem was now.

quote:


* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) has joined #stopHipHop
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch
<Metanot> bitchchecker how old are you?
<Elch> What's up bitchchecker?
<bitchchecker> you have a frie wal
<bitchchecker> fire wall
<Elch> maybe, i don't know
<bitchchecker> i'm 26
<Metanot> such behaviour with 26?
<Elch> how did you find out that I have a firewall?
<Metanot> tststs this is not very nice missy
<bitchchecker> because your gay fire wall directed my turn off signal back to me
<bitchchecker> be a man turn that shit off
<Elch> cool, didn't know this was possible.
<bitchchecker> thn my virus destroys your pc man
<Metanot> are you hacking yourselves?
<Elch> yes bitchchecker is trying to hack me
<Metanot> he bitchchecker if you're a hacker you have to get around a firewall even i can do that
<bitchchecker> yes man i hack the elch but the sucker has a fire wall the
<Metanot> what firewall do you have?
<bitchchecker> like a girl
<Metanot> firewall is normal a normal hacker has to be able to get past it...you girl^^
<He> Bitch give yourself a jackson and chill you're letting them provoce you and give those little girls new material all the time
<bitchchecker> turn the firewall off then i send you a virus [Please control your cussing]er
<Elch> Noo
<Metanot> he bitchchecker why turn it off, you should turn it off
<bitchchecker> you're afraid
<bitchchecker> i don't wanna hack like this if he hides like a girl behind a fire wall
<bitchchecker> elch turn off your shit wall!
<Metanot> i wanted to say something about this, do you know the definition of hacking??? if he turns of the firewall that's an invitation and that has nothing to do with hacking
<bitchchecker> shut up
<Metanot> lol
<bitchchecker> my grandma surfs with fire wall
<bitchchecker> and you suckers think you're cool and don't dare going into the internet without a fire wall

He calls me girly and says only his grandma would use a firewall. I know that elder people are much more intelligent then younger, but I couldn't let that rest. To see whether he really is a good hacker I lie and let everything as it is. I don't have a firewall at all, only my router.

quote:


<Elch> bitchchecker, a collegue showed me how to turn the firewall off. Now you can try again
<Metanot> bitchhacker can't hack
<Black<TdV>> nice play on words ^^
<bitchchecker> wort man
<Elch> bitchchecker: I'm still waiting for your attack!
<Metanot> how many times again he is no hacker
<bitchchecker> man do you want a virus
<bitchchecker> tell me your ip and it deletes your hard drive
<Metanot> lol ne give it up i'm a hacker myself and i know how hackers behave and i can tell you 100.00% you're no hacker..^^
<Elch> 127.0.0.1
<Elch> it's easy
<bitchchecker> lolololol you so stupid man you'll be gone
<bitchchecker> and are the first files being deleted
<Elch> mom...
<Elch> i'll take a look

In panic I started the Windows Explorer, my heart beating faster. Had I under-estimated him?

quote:


<bitchchecker> don't need to rescue you can't son of a bitch
<Elch> that's bad
<bitchchecker> elch you idiout your hard drive g: is deleted
<Elch> yes, there's nothing i can do about it
<bitchchecker> and in 20 seconds f: is gone

Yes, true, G: and F: were gone. Did I ever have them? Doesn't matter, I did not have time to think, I was scared. bitchchecker was comforting me with a music tip.

quote:


<bitchchecker> tupac rules
<bitchchecker> elch you son of a bitch your f: is gone and e: too

Drive E:? Oh my god... All the games are there! And the vacation pictures! I instantly take a look. Everything still there. But the hacker said it was deleted....

Or isn't it happening on my computer?

quote:


<bitchchecker> and d: is at 45% you idiot lolololol
<He> why doesn't meta say anything
<Elch> he's probably rolling on the floor laughing
<Black<TdV>> ^^
<bitchchecker> your d: is gone
<He> go on BITCH

The guy is good: My CD-drive is allegedly deleted! Bitchchecker turned my ancient disk sucker into a burner! But how did he do this? I'll have to ask him. Some encourage him. He himself is giving advice how to avoid the disaster on my hard drives.

quote:


<bitchchecker> elch man you're so stupid never give your ip on the internet
<bitchchecker> i'm already at c: 30 percent

Should I tell him he's not attacking my computer?

quote:


* bitchchecker (~java@euirc-9ff3c180.dip.t-dialin.net) Quit (Ping timeout#)

Too late... It's 20:22 when we get the last message of our hacker with the alias "bitchchecker". We see that he has a "Ping timeout". We haven't seen him since then... must be the Daylight Saving Time.

Cugetarea zilei

Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

How an enginner writes a program

How an enginner writes a program: Starts by debugging an empty file

Vorba de duh a zilei

Nu obturati basinile. Basina obturata aluneca pe sira spinarii,o ia in sus spre cap si....uite asa se nasc ideile de cacat.

Cugetarile zilei...

"Ca sa intelegi ca esti prost trebuie sa iti mearga putin mintea"

"Nu judecati oamenii dupa anturajul in care umbla. Nu uitati ca Iuda avea amici ireprosabili"